Long time, no see.

Not apologizing.  Life is hard.  Sometimes I forget to document it.

Updates out of the way:  Butterfly garden was a total success and I can't wait to make it bigger next year!  Hurrican Irene...came and went with a minimum of drama.  Earthquake, first in my life! Rescued a new dog.  Had 3 whole weeks off from grad school and it was wonderful.  I didn't do a damn thing.

New semester is starting and I am getting back in the swing of homework.  I am also working on some artsy-fartsy-crafty projects and they are calming me, and I'm actually getting excited to keep going with them.  Just what I needed. 

Maybe I'll elaborate on some of these topics.  That sounds like something a good writing instructor would say to do...

Of Dead Dogs and Butterflies

It was with a heavy and broken heart that I had to put Flannery to sleep.  He's been my constant companion for the past 9 years, and the days are not the same without him, his happy face, and obsessive snuggling. 

Miss ya, little bud.

Beginning the day after I came home from the vet with an empty collar, the butterfly garden is suddenly alive.  I'm not sure what to make of it.  I know some people would be all, "its his spirit romping in the garden."  I just don't know about that.  It is a hell of a coincidence, though, that just when I needed some distraction these things start showing up in full force.

First, the Silver Spotted Skipper who arrived literally 12 hours after we got home that night.

A couple days later, a lady Monarch.

And just today, both ladies, a Tiger Swallowtail and a Spicebush Swallowtail.

Flannery, if you've got anything to do with this...thanks, Bud.

Yeesh.

Okay, okay...so that last one happened during an expecially drama-filled week.  We won't be having any more of that.

Bringing it back to this side of "mentally competent"...

THINGS I DID SINCE THEN:
I made cupcakes and they sort of sucked.  But trying a new recipe is a positive thing, right?

Actually, speaking of new recipes, I also made all of these, and they were all 3 BANGIN' (as the kids say):
http://annies-eats.net/2010/02/15/chicken-enchiladas/ (followed the directions to the letter...a rarity for me!)
http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/chicken-cacciatore-10000001536187/index.html (Mostly followed the directions on this one, too!)
http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/12/sausage-stuffed-potatoes-a-green-salad/ (did not include the anchovie paste...just...could...not.)

I cleaned the hell out of the inside of my car. I can't stand clutter in there, I feel like I'm driving a dumpster.  And there was some sort of funk/stank occurring.  I still don't know where it came from.  It still lingers a bit.

I went...TO A RODEO.  Yeehaw, y'all!

I did some homework.

I rearranged all the furniture in my tiny-ass living room so I can walk in the front door without feeling like I'm in an episode of "Wipeout."

I survived the Great Office Move of 2011.

I bought a new refrigerator.  Ask me later what it's like to wake up on a holiday and go, "Oh, shit...I think the freezer's dead..."

I started seeing butterflies in the garden!  Yay!  They're only little Cabbage Whites, but its something, right?  Also, I spotted a large dark one in the backyard.  I said, "No dummy, you're in the wrong yard!  All the food is up front!  Just go over the house, and look down...ya can't miss it."  He didn't listen to me.  Or maybe he was a she, and she is anorexic.  I wonder if animals can have body image issues.

I saw fireworks.  I also saw some crispy old "Jersey Girls."  I would like to go around to salons and educate stylists on the importance of talking their clients out of perms.

I Skyped for the very first time.  In order to avoid having to drive into the city to meet with my academic advisor.  I also revamped my resume for the first time in a million years.  Its 3 pages, and apparently, that is perfectly acceptable.  I really hate the idea of selling myself for field placement.  I won't even get paid for it.  Its like being a prostitute for free.  Which basically means I'm a loose woman, because in the words of Salt 'N Pepa, "The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothing but a fee."

Something else I learned from the 90s..."Never trust a big butt and a smile."  Bel Biv DeVoe...I got you.

Dear 2011,

CAN YOU STOP NOW!?!?!?

That's all I got.

I suck.

I so desperately wanted to make a butterfly garden this year.  I researched the hell out of the things.  Came up with a list of plants that will attract regional butterflies.  Made my husband pay someone to grind out the friggin "tree of hell" stump and fill the whole mess with dirt.  Started things from seed.  Bought already grown plants.  Planted.  Weeded.  Watered.  Waited.

What do I got?

Nothing.  Shit won't grow. Shit keeps getting eaten.  Its depressing.  Little seedlings just sitting there.  And I'm like, "you're supposed to be GROWING.  That means to increase in size.  Not just sitting there looking like midgets."

I"ve got 4 square feet of plants that think they're little people.  AND WHERE ARE THE DAMN BUTTERFLIES?  I ain't seen one!!!!

All these dreams...I wanted my garden to be the white molester van of the butterfly kingdom.  Luring them all to my yard.

No go.

Sweet fancy pancakes...

Bwahaha, so much for making myself write a lil somethin' every week! I has failed at blog.  Oh well. No one reads it anyway.  Suck it!

I have only 2 more weeks of client work.  I don't want to say any more than that because hell might break loose again.  Hell has broken enough already. Dead teacher.  Inspection (code for "county funds controllers all up in our bidness.)  Another dead teacher.  Failed apocalypse.  Parent punching kid. New last-minute groups. Parent slapping kid.  Dead parent.  Fight.  Beer.  Cheese.  Laughs.

Got home tonight to find the fridge full of pizza, beer and...green beans? What the hell goes on when I'm not here?  CANNED green beans?  Oh, the humanity...

The squirrels and birds are enjoying my butterfly garden.  I hate wildlife. Shit can't even make flowers, they are eating everything.

Voluntary work on a Saturday (holiday weekend, no less.)  Bring it.

This is the most disjointed thing I've ever written.  I should stop now.

Feeling a little sorry for myself.

I am tired.  Bone-numbingly tired.  Things that are not funny are starting to crack me up.  Shopping at Wegmans, looking at crackers.  "Stoned Wheat Crackers!"  Hilarious!  I have the humor of a 15 year old boy! Woohoo!

Wondering why allergies have to be a part of life?  And why I had to draw the short straw on this one?  The human body is not meant to be so reactive to everything.  The past 2 weeks I've been so ungodly itchy.  My skin, my nose, my throat, my eyes...oh dear lord, the itchy, swollen, red eyes...waking up at all hours of the night.  Not having had a solid night's sleep in weeks.  Taking so many antihistamines that I am a walking warning about sedative abuse. 

FYI:  Trying to walk through the house in the dark after Benadryl can and will lead to you walking full speed into a door frame.  You'll think you broke your nose, but no such luck.  You'll just have a little round bruise for a week that doesn't look like a bruise, it looks like dirt.  So now you will be walking around, pale and pasty, looking like you're high, with bright red swollen eyes, sniffing and sneezing, and to top it off, you look dirty.

I've never been so uncomfortable in my life.  I feel like I'm not fit to be looked upon, and I have to keep checking myself to make sure I'm making sense.  I'm just so damn tired. I hate being such a complaint-bringer but I really do not have anything positive to say to anyone, about anything.  I just want to crawl into a hole and die. 

But being as how I'm so allergic to stupid grass, I'm not even looking forward to that.

Le sigh.