Sunday, February 24, 2013

There is really no point to this.

I may or may not have spent the past hour of my life catching up on "My Drunk Kitchen."

I do have better things to do.

I also decided I need my own cooking show.  I will be focusing on "making new food out of old food."  A.K.A., using up leftovers.  I will also be making a lot of fun of Sandra Lee.  I hate her.  I hate her cocktails. I hate her racial insensitivity (for an example, simply google "sandra lee kwanzaa cake.")  I hate her snooty posture and her "tablescapes."

And before anyone can accuse me of bias against WASPy bitches or rich white women who cook, let me put it out there that I love me some Martha Stewart, and I can even appreciate Ina Garten (even if she is ridiculously out of touch with the Food Network-watching population.  Guess what, Ina?  If people are home watching you make Hamptons food to take on your yacht on your Food Network show in the middle of the day, its safe to say they don't have a job and can't really afford to source local produce or obtain cruelty-free quails or whatever.  And also, they won't know that eating salads in mason jars on said yacht tastes any different than eating salad-in-a-bag out of a tupperware container on the couch.)

This whole topic came about because I usually make my weekend omelets out of random leftovers and ends of things in the fridge.  Today's was diced kielbasa, sauteed with onions and a day-away-from-becoming-funky orange bell pepper.  There was also a bit of smoked cheddar.  It was tasty. 

You should totally get creative with omelets.  I usually sautee equal parts of meat, random veggies, and diced onion.  I then remove them from the pan and throw in some butter.  Then I pour in 4 beaten eggs, let them sit for a bit until they are largely solid, then toss on some shredded cheese.  Then sprinkle your meat/veggie mixture on top.  Then fold that beotch in half and let it cook another minute or so. Then take that beotch off the heat and eat it.

You can pretend you have your own cooking show.

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