I'm so terribly sorry. I deeply apologize to the zero people who read this.
I really, really think that being in 6th grade is a mental disorder. It should be in the DSM. I can't even begin to think of the number of times this year the 6th graders alone have made me question my sanity. I mean, people don't really act that way. I must be hallucinating. That's it.
The idea of a potential hallucination is more comforting than the actual witnessing of a child doing a damn backflip in the middle of my social skills group. Kids don't really do that, right? They don't just stand up when someone is talking, flop on the floor, then when that someone instructs them to get up, they don't flip themselves in the air, right? Right?
They also don't keep their baby teeth in a little plastic treasure chest in their locker for the better part of a year...then get disgruntled when they are instructed to THROW IT OUT, leading them to argue that the tiny treasure chest can be used to store gum while they are eating, right? I should never have to utter the words, "You are NOT going to store your ABC gum in a tooth box."
I shouldn't have to ask kids to keep the farting to a minimum. Nor should I have to explain that the "No Interrupting" rule does not apply to me when a kid is talking out of turn, and I have to ask him to be quiet so I can get through the rest of my lesson. Or ask them to keep their voices down so people walking down the hall past my room don't hear the mosquito-sized kid exclaiming, "SNITCHES GET STITCHES!" And I certainly shouldn't have to then cut off a kid who is trying to tell me about the time he got stitches...as a result of the time he "busted a nut" at Boy Scout camp.
But I do. I do have to do all these things. They're getting stranger every day.
I'm a little concerned.